Freedom: A State of Mind
When looking at a gorilla in the zoo, usually I will find a wall separating it from me. I see this animal as trapped, and even feel sympathy for it, because it doesn’t have freedom. But what if this gorilla is really the opposite, and is free? The definition of freedom is having the ability to not be controlled, trapped or told what to do. Freedom is also not having responsibilities. Based on this definition, who is to say the animal at the zoo doesn’t want to be there? There is no telling whether the gorilla desires to live outside of the cage it was most likely raised in, especially if people come and feed it every day. By that logic, the animal is free, because it doesn’t feel trapped in its environment.
While growing up, I lived a sheltered life. I did not go out very often, I stayed home when I wasn’t at school. But I didn’t feel trapped; in fact, I felt free. I was free of the world’s responsibilities, something I long for now. I was free of commitments and I was free from making decisions for myself. I was content with what my home provided me, so I never really desired to go out and play with my friends. My friends on the other hand would feel like they were in a prison. Freedom is a state of mind, and it is only achieved when a person is not forced out of their comfort zone. The gorilla isn't uncomfortable in its cage, since the zoo was probably the only place it could ever call home.
Freedom is “intangible”. I can’t physically touch freedom, but I can feel it. This state of mind doesn’t come to everyone in the same way. For some it can happen in an instant, while for others may feel it come gradually, and some never reach this mindset. When you reach this state of mind, you’ll find that it may vanish or fade after a while. In “Coming to An Awareness of Language”, Malcom X wrote that he found freedom by learning how to write in prison. By being in prison, he didn’t have to deal with responsibilities of the outside world. Inside the prison walls; the typical opposite of freedom, Malcom X actually experienced freedom. He found comfort in his environment he was learning something he wasn’t able to learn outside of the prison walls. He claims at the end of his essay that he had never felt so free in his life by being in prison. It is likely that after he was released from prison that he tried to recapture that feeling of freedom he once had.
When the end of my senior year of high school was reaching to an end, I was anxious and was so ready to graduate already. The last weeks went by so swiftly. Everyone including myself were finishing up final projects and tests. Then the last week came, I was released from the classes finally. But then I had to participate in the graduation ceremony practices, and then the big day came. What seemed like an eternity that day, sitting, waiting for the principal to stop talking, the time to finally go up and receive my diploma came. I grabbed it from the representative, and I left my school later, leaving what had felt like prison sometimes. So during the summer, I felt free, I was reliving the days I had as a child of not having to worry. I didn’t have to deal with the problems that occurred at school or worry about tests, I got to relax and do things I liked doing. But this state didn’t last long, because eventually I’d be back in a school environment, which is/was more or less demanding than high school was. Some feelings I felt during high school, the feeling of being trapped, responsibility, came back. I was out of my comfort zone again, my free state of mind flew away from me.
To me, freedom sometimes looks like its cousin bliss. Is it even worth chasing after
something that can disappear in a blink of an eye? The answer is that I have no choice to chase after it. Humans have endless voids inside of them, we will always want what we don’t have. We also have something that Emily Dickinson describes so well in one of her many poems.
“Hope” is the thing with feathers-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words-
And never stops - at all-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words-
And never stops - at all-
Because we all have hope inside ourselves, the pursuit of freedom never ends. I know I can say for myself that if I were held up at gun point to give up on obtaining freedom, I’d agree to them but in reality I could never stop trying. Its because of hope that people who battle for their rights continue to do so even after they’ve been given death threats. But hope is also why we continue trying to fill our endless voids, meaning the freedom we obtain at one point is never enough.
In the present, I am now an “adult” meaning I’m responsible for my actions. Burdens such as finances, college, time and long term plans frequent my mind and often leave me depressed. All these thoughts are like bars surrounding me. I feel as though I’m that creature in the cage that did experience freedom, and I wants it back. Back when I was a child I didn’t have to worry about paying for things or thinking about what I’m going to do for the next thirty years. Even though I get to do more things like go out and spend money, I am now mentally locked up by my own thoughts.
My definition of freedom is simple yet complex at the same time. It’s complex because each person understands feelings and intangible ideas differently. Two people might be feeling the same emotion, but how they got to that point is completely different. The idea of 'true’ freedom doesn’t really exist. One must trade off one privilege for another. I involuntarily traded my responsibility-free childhood for the privileges I have today. While I may understand this, my mind will never settle for just that. As a person, I will always be on that journey for that tiny instant of ’true freedom’.
- 2008
